Thursday, September 2, 2010
Consider the lilies...
When you ask God to see people through His eyes, you better be ready! Daniel and I have been waiting almost 3 years on a little baby girl from China. A couple of months ago I got the opportunity to go to an orphanage in China. While there I knew I had met our little baby...Hope as we have already named her. But something else happened while I was there. I was drawn to the 4-6 older children there. Two of the girls are already over 16. That means that they are no longer adoptable by China laws. There was a little boy around 12, who I have already written about. And then there was a little girl named Ning Li, or LiLi as they called her, or Lily as we Americans called her. And although my heart went out to all of them I found it quite difficult to shake the feeling that Lily was supposed to be in our family. How would I go home and tell Daniel that the little girl in our dreams was actually 9 years old? How would he understand how quickly I changed without having been there himself and seeing these children.
While I was there I found our little Hope. We are still waiting on a referral for her. Her paperwork has not yet been registered with the CCAA. But while I was there I also found a new perspective. What about these older children?! Who will adopt them? They've been at that orphanage for YEARS! Why has't anyone adopted them yet?! I was distraught. I would lay in bed at night, so excited about little Hope, just around 6 months old at that time, but I couldn't quit thinking about those older children....and especially Lily.
While I was in China I must've thought and said several times how much Phoebe would LOVE Lily. Two years apart! How fun! And Lily....she has no family or sisters or brothers. I would think about Phoebe and her room and her clothes and the vacations we go on and the fun family times and everything! And I just could see Lily SO EASILY in our family.
Well, I knew that it was far fetched. We are still trying to raise all the money needed for Hope...so Lily....I mean, where on earth would we get the money just for her! And then Hope will need surgeries and such...how will we afford Lily? And we really don't know much about Lily's medical history. We have a few papers, a few blood tests, a few sentences that represent NINE years of this precious child's life. There are SO many uncertainties. We had planned this out well, few risks, few uncertainties, and now THIS. Everything was turned upside down!
Within several weeks it was evident to Daniel and I that Lily was just as much God's plan for us as Hope has always been. God knew it all along! He was just waiting for us to catch up and realize it. While in China I prayed sincerely for God to let me see these children through HIS eyes, not my American eyes. And He answered my prayer immediately.
When we told Phoebe 4 years ago that we were going to start the adoption process, after listening to our preface about all the millions of children around the globe with no parents, this is her response: You mean we are only adopting ONE! It was like, after all that, and this great need layed out before her 7 year old compassionate heart, to say we were adopting one child didn't excite her. She saw a need...and she wanted to do something about it! Now I know that we cannot adopt a thousand children, and I know that even one life changed is HUGE, but it's just funny how children don't consider costs and problems and such. They speak from their heart. They see the world from their heart!
I really feel like our decision to adopt Lily has come from this same heart. It wasn't HOW CAN WE ADOPT LILY. It was HOW CAN WE NOT adopt Lily. I kept thinking about if I had to face her or face God and give my pitiful fearful excuses why we couldn't adopt her how regretful I'd be. I want to live my life showing others the LOVE OF GOD.
And you know what, God has come through big time for us! Daniel had fallen in love with Lily JUST as I did, even though he's never met her. I wondered how long it would take to love these girls as my own, especially an older child since she is already a developed personality and person...but you know what....it's already happened. I would give my life for this little girl. And I will dedicate my entire life on earth loving her and teaching her and showing her how much her Savior loves her!
AND I'M SO EXCITED ABOUT IT!!!!!